Denver Nuggets: Happy Fan/Mad Fan

May 2, 2013; Oakland, CA, USA; Denver Nuggets point guard Andre Miller (24) drives in against Golden State Warriors point guard Jarrett Jack (2) during the second quarter of game six of the first round of the 2013 NBA Playoffs at Oracle Arena. Mandatory Credit: Kelley L Cox-USA TODAY Sports

The end of a season brings out two extreme, polar-opposite forms of fans:

1. The Happy Fan: Those fans gleefully cheer on their team and players regardless of how the season ends. These fans are sweet, innocent bystanders who think highly of every player on the team and think everyone should return next season. They stray away from cynicism and believe that no one on the team can do wrong, ever.

2. The Mad Fan: These guys want to blow the team up immediately. They’re calling for the head coaches head and don’t want anybody on the roster to be on the team next season. They destroy three or four TVs a season.

What would these fans say about the the players on the Denver Nuggets roster after Thursday night’s disappointing end to the season? Ahh, I’m so glad you asked.

Corey Brewer

Happy Fan: Corey! I just love the energy Corey brings every game. He’s so awesome! Those shots just weren’t falling against the Warriors but the team really needed him out there anyways. He’s such a funny, genuine guy. I hope we resign him just because.

Mad Fan: BREWER THAT BALDING ASS-CLOWN. HE PRACTICALLY LOST THE SERIES FOR US. WHAT WAS HE? 1 FOR 30 FROM THREE? YO COREY DON’T YOU KNOW THEY’RE PLAYING ZONE HOPING YOU’LL SHOOT THE BALL? TRADE HIM IF HE HAS ANY VALUE.

Wilson Chandler

Happy Fan: haha he has so many tattoos! I just hope that it doesn’t hinder him from getting a job one day because I care about him and his well-being so much. He REALLLYY stepped up when Gallo went out. When Gallo got hurt–bless his soul–I was like “at least we have Wilson Chandler, ya know?” Can’t wait to watch him next year!

Mad Fan: WHY IS CHANDLER SHOOTING MID RANGE JUMPERS WITH STEPHEN CURRY GUARDING HIM? JFAIGJIADFJGIAFJ. HE COULDN’T HIT ANYTHING ALL SERIES. FRUSTRATING PLAYER TO WATCH. TRADE HIM MORE MONTA ELLIS. 7 MILLION DOLLARS IN 2015-16? WAY TO GO UJIRI

Kenneth Faried

Happy Fan: It’s just like, you know, he’s the glue guy. He’s the face of the organization! He’s the greatest hustler in the history of history. So much upside! I love his hair omg.

Mad Fan: Shouldn’t have played game 2 practically lost game 2 because he wasn’t healthy. I’m glad he hustles but Jesus he can’t guard anyone. Got burnt all series by HARRISON FREAKING BARNES. NEXT.

Evan Fournier

Happy Fan: Evan’s the future! He really is! He’ll be Manu Ginobili one day! Just watch! Poor guy was thrown into the fire too early but just give him time! Greatn3ss!

Mad Fan: WHY WAS HE EVEN ON THE FLOOR? WHY WAS HE EVEN IN THE LOCKER? PRACTICALLY LOST EVERY GAME EVEN GAME 6 WHEN HE DIDN’T PLAY. BAD PERSON. WORSE PLAYER. AWFUL PICK. TRADE HIM.

Danilo Gallinari

Happy Fan: When the Rooster went down, I cried. I cried for days. I cried for weeks. I never met him but I felt like I did. <3 you bro get well soon.

Mad Fan: Reserving my right to not speak.

Jordan Hamilton

Happy Fan: The future! Him and Evan! I’m so sad he’s in Karl’s doghouse :(

Mad Fan: WHY DIDN’T JORDAN HAMILTON PLAY GEORGE KARL YOU OLD FART HE’S THE ONLY GUY WHO CAN SHOOT FROM DISTANCE AND HE SAT AT THE END OF THE PINE THE ENTIRE SERIES.

Andre Iguodala

Happy Fan: GOAT. Max contract! Do what you gotta do! Keep Iggy #Iguodaladalabillsyall

Mad Fan: CAN’T EVEN FRONT HE’S DOPE

Kosta Koufos

Happy Fan: OMG did you see Kouf hit that three? How awesome?! What a moment! But seriously maybe he can be a stretch 5? Who knows!? Upside’s there, just put it together!

Mad Fan: UNFGUAFHGUAJUGJ. TERRIBLE PLAYER. GOT BULLIED BY BOGUT. PRACTICALLY LOST THE SERIES. HIS HEAD LOOKS LIKE A ROTTEN PEACH. HE’S THE UGLIEST PERSON ALIVE. HE’S CHRIS KAMAN’S FACE WITH FELTON SPENCER’S SKILL-SET. RELEASE HIM. WAIVE HIM. GET HIM OFF THE TEAM.

Ty Lawson

Happy Fan: He’s so fast I swear! It’s like he’s a race car on the court hehe. He plays defense, he scores inside, he’s the leader of the team! Top 5 PG in the league! wWEEEEWHWEWEWOEWOE

Mad Fan: hmm, this is what I think: CAN YOU WIN WITH LAWSON AS YOUR STARTING PG? WELL MAYBE IN THE REGULAR SEASON. AWFUL AT DEFENSE. SCARED TO SHOOT OUTSIDE. OVERPAID.

JaVale McGee

Happy Fan: Okay I don’t like to tell people this but McGee’s like my favorite player ever and I think he can be a top 3 center in the league! He’s soo athletic. If he can just put it together he’s going to be a legend!

Mad Fan: JIDJFJSIFJIDJGIJFDSGSIFJQRJUF8AUR8Q7U547Q8RFACU HF7DAY 78AYCF7DSAHFU7DHAYS7F8YAF78DY7DSAYF7ADY DF7YC7FVYV FUAHFUAHDSFUAHDUFHAD

Andre Miller

Happy Fan: Why is everyone blaming Old Man Dre?! We NEEDED his #VETERANLEADERSHIP and he won Game 1 by himself! Sure he’s lost a step but have you seen his post game?!  He’s the x-factor! We live and die by Miller and that’s okay with me! hehe

Mad Fan: WORST PLAYER IN THE LEAGUE. HE COULDN’T CHECK KIRK DOUGLAS. YO DRE WHY ARE YOU IN THE GAME? WHY ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH DRE, KARL? GODDDD. HE LOST THE SERIES. THAT’S IT. HE SHOULD PLAY WITH THESE GUYS:

 

CUT HIM. WAIVE HIM. SEND HIM TO A NURSING HOME IDC. JUST GET HIM OUT OF A NUGGETS UNIFORM.

Quincy Miller

Happy Fan: umm, who?

Mad Fan: what he said.

Timofey Mozgov

Happy Fan: Timofey lol I just love the way he spells that. It’s just so much fun. Almost as fun as his game. He’s REALLY good. He rebounds, he’s got touch, he hustles! I can’t wait to see what the future holds for him.

Mad Fan: *sighs* I’M SO MAD I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY

Julyan Stone:

Happy Fan: OMG Julian [check spelling] is just what we need. He doesn’t complain about minutes and plays hard every second he’s out there. Great piece to have moving forward. Most Improved next year? I think soooooo..

Mad Fan: BRUH, THIS MAN WOULDN’T HAVE GOTTEN CLOCK ON MY AAU TEAM. DROP.

Anthony Randolph

Happy Fan: Super talented! Him and JaVale are like Tim Duncan and David Robinson! Seriously they have that much potential! He’s going to get paid one day! lol

Mad Fan: Yo I’m out ya’ll…

 

***

Thanks for reading and follow me on Twitter @lashy.

Tags: Andre Iguodala Andre Miller Anthony Randolph Denver Nuggets Evan Fournier JaVale McGee Julyan Stone Justin Hamilton Kenneth Faried Kosta Koufos NBA Playoffs Quincy Miller Satire Timofey Mozgov Ty Lawson Wilson Chandler

comments powered by Disqus