Nuggets To Compete In 14-Man Battle Royale


Less than a week removed from WrestleMania, World Wrestling Entertainment is already making plans for its next pay-per-view event. Extreme Rules, which is to be held on April 26th in Rosemont, Illinois, will feature a 14-man Over-The-Top-Rope Battle Royale, but it will not involve John Cena, Brock Lesnar, or any of the other usual suspects. Instead, it will be your 2015 Denver Nuggets.

The match will feature every member of the Nuggets active roster, with the goal being to throw their teammates over the top rope in order to eliminate them.

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When asked about the event, general manager Tim Connelly said, “We are really having a tough time establishing a clear leader on this team. What better way to assert your dominance than a Battle Royale?” He went on to say, “The last man left in the ring at the end of the night will receive a large championship belt, which they will then carry around with them at all times to signify their captaincy.”

Jusuf Nurkic is the early favorite for the match due to his overwhelming size. Throwing a 6’11”, 280-pound man over the top rope will be no easy task, making the Bosnian Beast (a perfect wrestling name, might I add) the most likely candidate to be the next team captain in Denver.

Upon the announcement of the Battle Royale, WWE Chairman Vince McMahon stated, “We’re really trying to cross our brand over into other sports. We had Ronda Rousey at WrestleMania, we’ve had Shaq on Raw a few times, so why not have an entire NBA team compete against each other? I’m still not really sure what a Nugget is though.”

Mark your calendars. This is sure to be one for the ages.

Happy April Fool’s Day!